One year ago.
On this exact date. With a different year.
Today is December 31, 2016. Since I launched this website, 365 days have passed. Then and Now. So much has happened in between the nostalgic Then and the constantly moving Now.
One thing hasn’t changed, though.
It hasn’t changed within the past year.
It hasn’t changed since I went from Ms. to Mrs.
It hasn’t changed since I was a college student studying communication and writing papers about identity and breakups, drinking chai teas and pulling all nighters.
It hasn’t changed since I was a high school student wearing red and black and shouting “Go Bulldogs!” and wearing nighttime headgear (heck yeah, awkward orthodontia) and feeling all of the feels about everything and anything. Sopping up the soapy, dripping emotions like a thick sponge.
It hasn’t changed since I was a girl on an elementary school playground wearing Keds and a side ponytail, all innocence and fairytales and SuperMario Bros and dandelion crowns and library trips.
Despite it all. All of the changes. All of the hurdles. All of the questions and the doubts and the seasons. Despite it all…my dream hasn’t changed.
I want to be a published author.
It’s this dream that inspired me to start this blog 365 days ago. I wanted to chronicle my journey —and my writings— on this site. And as I look back at this past year, I am grateful and excited for the progress made and the steps taken to get me closer to the goal:
I finished the manuscript. My first. A fiction manuscript.
Queryed several agents, hoping they’d be interested in my manuscript.
Got some interest. Got some rejection.
Doubted myself, then reminded myself of the dream. Kept going.
Signed with literary agent and all-around amazing person Renee Nyen with KT Literary.
Received an outline of edits. Made edits. Submitted changes to Renee.
Had solid conversations with Renee because she has an epic eye. Realized I needed to make more edits.
So what’s up with the book now? you ask.
Well, the answer is short. And unglamorous. But true:
More editing. More revising.
If I'm being honest with you,, I got too excited on my first round of edits. I focused on the breadth rather than the depth. I got so excited about moving forward that my feet went fast. Too fast. I tripped. I focused too much on the finish line instead of completing my current leg of the race.
Lucky for me, I have an awesome agent who knows what this book can be and what I can do. And I can do better. So I’m still working on my manuscript, making edits and diving deep to ensure the next draft I turn in is the best it can be.
I love writing. But writing… It’s hard at times. I'm hard on myself at times. I’m learning that the road to being published is long. It has potholes where your feet get stuck and your mind gets cluttered. Pools of doubt gather alongside me.
But as I sit here on December 31, 2016, I keep thinking about this day next year, and the days that will take place between now and then. A lot of words and writing and worrying (because I’m me and I’m a worrier and that will never change) will take place in these next 365 days.
I’ve come a long way, and I’m grateful for my friends and family who have witnessed this journey and supported me every step of the way.
But I’m not done yet.
I’m excited for what 2017 will bring….and the goal is to sit here on December 31, 2017, with exciting news and dreams achieved.
At the end of the day, though--regardless of the result--it’s all about the journey, right?
Happy New Year. Here's to 2017.